Bae: wanna get something to eat?
Me: I’m broke shawd
Bae: it’s okay I got you
yeah but what if fred weasley became a hogwarts ghost
pulling pranks and flirting with seventh-years and telling an over-exaggerated version of his death to anyone who will listen, haunting slytherin first years and popping up in the boring classes and making faces at the teachers behind their backs
skip a few decades. george weasley dies.
fred’s ghost is never seen again in hogwarts
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”